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My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes on tuesdays, I go Fridays.
-- Henry Youngman
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We know the past and its great events, the present in its multitudinous complications, chiefly through faith in the testimony of others.
-- Matthew Simpson
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If you want a roommate, get a cat. If you want a family, get a dog.
-- Anonymous
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A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though, awakens your expectations. –
-- Patricia Neal
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There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Anonymous
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