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When my father came over here penniless with $100 sewn into his underwear, thank God some well-meaning liberal didn’t come put his arm around him and say, ‘Let me take care of you.’
-- Ted Cruz
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Damn! I think about you a lot!
-- Anonymous
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If you friend request me on facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you’re a transformer.
-- Anonymous
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Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-- Dennis Miller
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My dear brother, I’m really happy for your decision to get married. I know that you will be a perfect husband. Congratulations from all my heart!
-- Anonymous
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