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I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends will go there.
-- Anonymous
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I’m so awesome, when I was born, I was given a certificate..
-- Anonymous
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A tear is made of … 1% water and 99% feelings.
-- Anonymous
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Success is the best revenge. Bullshit, Revenge is the best revenge.
-- Anonymous
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
-- Mitch Hedberg
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