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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
-- Steven Wright
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I know something you don’t….and that is…. I’M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR! We’re gonna get sexy for a minute! ― Gerard Way
-- Anonymous
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Mine was a patchwork God, sewn together from bits of rag and ribbon, Eastern and Western, pagan and Hebrew, everything but the kitchen sink and Jesus.
-- Anne Lamott
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I can’t really see another squad tryna cross us.
-- Anonymous
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Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
-- George Carlin
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