I made my Face book name Benefits, so when you add me now it says you’re friends with benefits.

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I made my Face book name Benefits, so when you add me now it says you’re friends with benefits.

-- Anonymous

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I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

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I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late ’90s.

-- Deadpool (2016)

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Sorry I can’t go to work tomorrow, I fractured my motivation.

-- Anonymous

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Stop having so many birthdays! Seriously, each year it gets more difficult to find you a gift.

-- Anonymous

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Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? – John Barrymore

-- Vijayaraj

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