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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that’s OK!
-- Jay Leno
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
-- Jay Leno
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Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
-- Jay Leno
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Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
-- Jay Leno
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
-- Jay Leno
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