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I’m a scuba diver in a sea of idiots.
-- Anonymous
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Sorry, work. I can’t come in today. My dog’s being too cute.
-- Anonymous
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
-- Ayshu
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A little party never killed anybody.
-- Anonymous
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42. Stress doesn’t really go with my outfit
-- Anonymous
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71. No bond is stronger than two people who hate the same person.
-- Anonymous
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