When I offer you food, it’s only because my mother raised me right. As my friend, please read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

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When I offer you food, it’s only because my mother raised me right. As my friend, please read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

-- Anonymous

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I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere ?

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I work to buy a car to go to work.

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Nothing better than a fresh manicure to start the week!

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You own my heart. And my ass.

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Homemade with love. In other words, I licked the spoon and kept using it.

-- Anonymous

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