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When I offer you food, it’s only because my mother raised me right. As my friend, please read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
-- Anonymous
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It’s been a long week. – Me, in the middle of Tuesday.
-- Vijayaraj
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I’m so tired, the bags under my eyes are bigger than my boobs.
-- Anonymous
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SAVE THE EARTH it’s the only planet with coffee.
-- Anonymous
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Grandma’s on the front porch with a Bible in her hand, sometimes I hear her singing take me to the promised land. –
-- Anonymous
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
-- Anonymous
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