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Calories don’t count on the weekend.
-- Anonymous
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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
-- Charles Bukowski
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I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
-- Anonymous
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If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
-- Vijayaraj
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
-- Chris Rock
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