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People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
-- Anonymous
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I like hash tags because they look like waffles #
-- Anonymous
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A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes…
-- Vijayaraj
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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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People who say I hate to bother you need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
-- Anonymous
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You are one of my coolest cousins and I wish you a wonderful Birthday!
-- Ayshu
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