I’m smiling. That alone should scare you…

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I’m smiling. That alone should scare you…

-- Anonymous

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My grandfather was raising me, and in many respects, I was trying to understand what it meant to be a man. He was my role model.

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The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. – Woody Allen

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Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad.

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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

-- Anonymous

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