Mom, I couldn’t afford a gift, so I made you some stretch marks. Happy Mother’s Day!

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Mom, I couldn’t afford a gift, so I made you some stretch marks. Happy Mother’s Day!

-- Anonymous

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

-- Lao Tzu

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Some people say they want a Prince Charming, But I on the other hand, Say I don’t. That’s because I have a guy a billion times better than that. I love you more each Valentine’s Day.

-- Anonymous

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Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.

-- E. E. Cummings

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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake on Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck, in I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

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Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

-- Dennis Miller

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