My life is all math. I am trying to add my income, subtract my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

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My life is all math. I am trying to add my income, subtract my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

-- Anonymous

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If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

-- Anonymous

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My tears are full of memories of you.

-- Unknown

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Ways to my heart:1. Buy me food2. Make me food3. Be food

-- Anonymous

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The secret of life is to skip having children and go directly to grandchildren. –

-- Mell Lazarus

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Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. –

-- Joan Collins

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