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I’m not single. I’m just romantically challenged.
-- Anonymous
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When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin
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Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
-- Anonymous
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If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
-- George Carlin
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Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
-- John Wayne
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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
-- Hedy Lamarr
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