Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad.

Quotern

Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad.

-- Anonymous

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Sometimes I’m really funny, sometimes I’m quiet, sometimes I’m shy, but I’m constantly changing. – Elle King

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A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

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Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.

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What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise. – Jerome K. Jerome

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Friendship is…being equally annoying.

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