Out of all the lies I’ve told, Just kidding! is my favorite.

Quotern

Out of all the lies I’ve told, Just kidding! is my favorite.

-- Anonymous

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When I was growing up, my parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.’

-- Thomas Friedman

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Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

-- Anonymous

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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

-- Ayshu

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Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

-- Anonymous

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Some words of wisdom for your birthday: Smile while you still have teeth! Congratulations!

-- Anonymous

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