I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me, I knew he wasn’t a professional; the knife had butter on it. – Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me, I knew he wasn’t a professional; the knife had butter on it. – Rodney Dangerfield

-- Anonymous

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Yes I could improve my attitude, but my insurance doesn’t cover those needs.

-- Anonymous

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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

-- Anonymous

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135. Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.

-- Anonymous

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81. Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles that nobody knows about.

-- Anonymous

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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house?

-- George Carlin

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