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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. –
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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When life gives you lemons… they could really be oranges.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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