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True happiness is…to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.
-- Anonymous
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-- Mark Twain
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-- George Carlin
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Being happy doesn’t means that everything is perfect.
-- Anonymous
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
-- Mark Twain
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-- George Carlin
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