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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
-- Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
-- Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
-- Groucho Marx
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I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.              –
-- Groucho Marx
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A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
-- Groucho Marx
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