My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

Quotern

My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

-- Anonymous

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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. – Will Rogers

-- Vijayaraj

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I love everybody. Some I love to be around, Some I love to avoid and others I would love to punch in the face.

-- Anonymous

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My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60 years. Now he is 97 years old and we have no clue where he is! –

-- Unknown

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

-- Jerry Seinfeld

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

-- Woody Allen

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