Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

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Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

-- Anonymous

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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato.

-- Kevin Hart

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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

-- Cathy Guisewite

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I got 99 bobby pins, But can’t find 1

-- Ayshu

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Calories don’t count on the weekend.

-- Anonymous

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I was not kicking Brady; I was just loving him with my boot.

-- Claire, age 4

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