Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

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Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

-- Joan Rivers

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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

-- Joan Rivers

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Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That’s all anyone wants: to have their parents see they’re going to be all right in life.

-- Joan Rivers

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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.

-- Joan Rivers

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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. –

-- Joan Rivers

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Comedy is learning to be funny, and you learn to be funny in small rooms with young audiences.

-- Joan Rivers

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