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As a cousin I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday.
-- Anonymous
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Out of all the lies I’ve told, Just kidding! is my favorite.
-- Anonymous
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Ayshu
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
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My father cried when I said I wanted to be a chef.
-- Anonymous
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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
-- Cathy Guisewite
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