It’s just a flesh wound. ~Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

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It’s just a flesh wound. ~Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

-- Anonymous

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Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

-- Tim Vine

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Let me tell you the difference between a good joke and a bad joke… timing.

-- Vijayaraj

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White wine is like electricity. Red wine looks and tastes like a liquified beefsteak.

-- James Joyce

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You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz

-- Ayshu

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A good friend calls you in jail. A great friend bails you out of jail. Your best friend sits next to you and says ‘wasn’t that fun?

-- Anonymous

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