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One day my wife’s credit card got stolen..what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife. LOL!
-- Anonymous
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When a man blames others for his failures, it’s a good idea to credit others with his successes.
-- Anonymous
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My grandfather was a giant of a man … When he walked, the earth shook. When he laughed, the birds fell out of the trees. His hair caught fire from the sun. His eyes were patches of sky.
-- Eth Clifford
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I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
-- Anonymous
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If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
-- Mitch Hedberg
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Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.
-- Anonymous
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