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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
-- Mark Twain
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-- Mark Twain
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
-- Mark Twain
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
-- Mark Twain
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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.  –
-- Mark Twain
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
-- Mark Twain
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