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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.
-- Anonymous
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
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To keep your marriage brimming with love in the cup, Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.
-- Ayshu
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The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
-- Sam Levenson
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The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money
-- Anonymous
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