When nothing is going right, go left.

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When nothing is going right, go left.

-- Anonymous

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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and start using sleep deprivation to torture you.

-- Ray Romano

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Don’t be so quick to judge me. After all, You only see what I choose to show you.

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I would like to apologize to anyone. I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get back to you shortly.

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White wine is like electricity. Red wine looks and tastes like a liquified beefsteak.

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It’s not the men in my life that count; it’s the life in my men.

-- Mae West

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