If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

-- Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

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I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. –

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