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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
-- Woody Allen
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I love the rain – it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
-- Woody Allen
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
-- Woody Allen
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
-- Woody Allen
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
-- Woody Allen
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