If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

-- Woody Allen

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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

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I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. –

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I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

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