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I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
-- Anonymous
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It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
-- Anonymous
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato.
-- Kevin Hart
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I don’t work well under pressure or under any other circumstance.
-- Vijayaraj
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Mornings were made for sleeping, wild sex, and bacon.
-- Anonymous
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
-- Anonymous
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