I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

-- Woody Allen

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The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.

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I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

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