I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

-- Woody Allen

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

-- Woody Allen

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The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.

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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. –

-- Woody Allen

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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.

-- Woody Allen

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