I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

-- Woody Allen

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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. –

-- Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

-- Woody Allen

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

-- Woody Allen

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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

-- Woody Allen

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In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. ~

-- Woody Allen

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