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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
-- Woody Allen
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The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.
-- Woody Allen
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
-- Woody Allen
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I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. –
-- Woody Allen
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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. –
-- Woody Allen
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