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Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
-- Anonymous
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
-- Anonymous
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You’re telling me, a chicken fried this rice.
-- Anonymous
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. – Abraham Lincoln
-- Vijayaraj
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The best things in life are free*. *Does not apply to pizza.
-- Anonymous
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I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late ’90s.
-- Deadpool (2016)
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