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Sorry I can’t go to work tomorrow, I fractured my motivation.
-- Anonymous
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
-- Woody Allen
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Friends hide a smile and help you up when you fall, but best friends laugh so hard that they fall also.
-- Anonymous
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Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
-- Anonymous
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A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
-- Anonymous
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I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.
-- Anonymous
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