I believe I used all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

Quotern

I believe I used all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

-- Anonymous

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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. – Milton Berle

-- Ayshu

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I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.

-- Louis C.K.

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Dear Cousin, It’s your birthday. So, get ready to check the notifications for next 24 hours.

-- Ayshu

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I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place and I spill things a lot. I’m pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight and some days nothing goes right. But when I think about it and take a step back I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe. Just maybe. I like being imperfect!

-- Anonymous

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If you have crazy friends, you have everything.

-- Vijayaraj

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