A woman saying I’m not mad at you is like a dentist saying You won’t feel a thing.

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A woman saying I’m not mad at you is like a dentist saying You won’t feel a thing.

-- Anonymous

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Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

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I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem and that’s not my problem.

-- Anonymous

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Mornings were made for sleeping, wild sex, and bacon.

-- Anonymous

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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.

-- Anonymous

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