A woman saying I’m not mad at you is like a dentist saying You won’t feel a thing.

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A woman saying I’m not mad at you is like a dentist saying You won’t feel a thing.

-- Anonymous

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If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

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Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

-- Ayshu

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My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-- Mark Twain

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

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