What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

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What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

-- Anonymous

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You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

-- Oscar Wilde

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Those who say there is no such thing as a stupid question … have never worked in Customer Service.

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Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.

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Don’t text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also it lights up your big dumb face.

-- Louis C.K.

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