Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

Quotern

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

-- Anonymous

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Anonymous

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My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside – Made in Taiwan.

-- Leopold Fetchner

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Nothing better than a fresh manicure to start the week!

-- Ayshu

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Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.

-- Anonymous

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

-- Woody Allen

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