Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

Quotern

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

-- Anonymous

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. – Alan Dundes

-- Vijayaraj

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Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

-- Tim Vine

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I can resist everything except temptation. – Oscar Wilde

-- Vijayaraj

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I’m going to use what little energy I have today to breathe and maybe blink. That’s about it.

-- Anonymous

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The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

-- Sam Levenson

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