My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

-- Woody Allen

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

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I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. –

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

-- Woody Allen

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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

-- Woody Allen

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In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. ~

-- Woody Allen

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