24. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

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24. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

-- Anonymous

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69. Always Give 100%, Unless You’re Donating Blood.

-- Anonymous

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Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome

-- Anonymous

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157. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.

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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.

-- Aziz Ansari

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111. May my haters live long to see my success.

-- Anonymous

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