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My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’.
-- Anonymous
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato.
-- Kevin Hart
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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
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The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.
-- Roseanne Barr
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Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
-- Cary Grant
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If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me!
-- Anonymous
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I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
-- Anonymous
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My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.
-- Jimmy Carter
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Evil communication corrupts good manners. I hope to live to hear that good communication corrects bad manners.
-- Anonymous
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If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.​
-- Claude McDonald
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