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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-- George Carlin
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-- George Carlin
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-- George Carlin
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
-- George Carlin
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