That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

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That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

-- George Carlin

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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

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Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

-- George Carlin

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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.

-- George Carlin

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