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The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money
-- Anonymous
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I am currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.
-- Ayshu
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Old people at weddings always poke me and say you’re next so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
-- Anonymous
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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.
-- Anonymous
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A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say ‘How to Build a Boat.’
-- Anonymous
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Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.
-- Andre Simon
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