If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Quotern

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

-- Anonymous

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Think of Birthdays this way : You are not getting older, You are getting wiser. Happy Birthday!

-- Anonymous

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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that’s OK!

-- Jay Leno

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

-- Jerry Seinfeld

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The only way of rendering life endurable is to drink as much wine as one can come by.

-- Anonymous

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Just remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. As soon as I finish laughing.

-- Anonymous

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