When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

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When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

-- Jarod Kintz

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Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in my head.

-- Jarod Kintz

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I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ~

-- Jarod Kintz

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I hired a counterfeiter the other day. I told him, As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you. I love a business model where the employee pays the employer.

-- Jarod Kintz

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Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go.

-- Jarod Kintz

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