The beautiful part about killing someone with an icicle is the murder weapon melts and then evaporates. And your assassination can be fruit flavored!?

Quotern

The beautiful part about killing someone with an icicle is the murder weapon melts and then evaporates. And your assassination can be fruit flavored!?

-- Jarod Kintz

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I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ~

-- Jarod Kintz

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I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

-- Jarod Kintz

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I gathered all my eggs in one basket, because I believe in collectivism, and I wanted a tyrannical omelet.?

-- Jarod Kintz

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When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

-- Jarod Kintz

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