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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
-- Steven Wright
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
-- Steven Wright
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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
-- Steven Wright
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
-- Steven Wright
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
-- Steven Wright
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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
-- Steven Wright
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