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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
-- Steven Wright
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
-- Steven Wright
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I’m addicted to placebos.
-- Steven Wright
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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
-- Steven Wright
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
-- Steven Wright
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