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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
-- Steven Wright
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I’m addicted to placebos.
-- Steven Wright
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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
-- Steven Wright
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
-- Steven Wright
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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost. –
-- Steven Wright
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