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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
-- Steven Wright
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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
-- Steven Wright
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What’s another word for Thesaurus?
-- Steven Wright
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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
-- Steven Wright
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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost.                          –
-- Steven Wright
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
-- Steven Wright
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