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She looked at my calendar and wanted to know who JUNE was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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