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She looked at my calendar and wanted to know who JUNE was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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One day...as I came home early from work...I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy...Hey buddy...why are you doing that for? He said..Because you came home early.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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